Creating the Right Message

So, you’ve found the perfect person to message, but you don’t know how to approach them. How are you going to strike up a conversation, let them know that you are interested, and most importantly, make them want to message you back?

The purpose of this first message is to introduce yourself and see if there is mutual interest. You should keep it light, casual and friendly. Think about the type of message you would like to receive. The right person for you will appreciate the same type of approach.

So What Do You Say?

1. Read their profile before writing your message

First, make sure that you actually read the other person’s profile! There is a wealth of information in there. Turns out you’ve both been to Thailand? Great! Mentioning this is the perfect way to break the ice. If you notice a common interest, talk about it. Referring to their hobbies, pictures, or occupation in your message shows that you have put time into reading their profile and have taken a genuine interest in them. Don’t forget to let your personality shine through! Think of how your friends see you. If you’re the funny guy, then slip in a tasteful joke. If you’re poetic, artistic, or creative, let that come across.

2. Be upbeat

Use a friendly and positive tone. This is just the first message, there’s no need to be too serious. Talking about how you haven’t dated since your last break-up, or how you’re ready to have kids like, yesterday, isn’t a great opener. Keeping things fun and upbeat is the best way to get a response.

3. Keep it short and sweet

You have already created a profile and filled out a description. The purpose of this message is to entice the recipient to view your profile and see if he or she is interested in you, too. There’s no need to write an encyclopedia of personal details on your profile. Your hamster’s middle name and the highlights of your recent visit to the dentist are best saved for when you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.

4. Open up the conversation

Always try to include a question in your message, so that you can open up the conversation. Asking the other person something (about their description, pictures, etc.), gives them some material to respond with and takes the pressure off, making it more likely that they’ll write back. Asking questions is a great jumping off point, so try to initiate a fun topic that interests you both.

Be sure to end by letting the user know you’re excited to hear back from them!

And How Do You Say It?

1. Be polite

Leave out the cheesy terms of endearment. These don’t work on anyone. Unique compliments are a great way to catch someone’s attention, but words like “cutie”, “babe”, or “honey” can come across as impersonal or offensive, even if you didn’t intend them to.

2. Don’t drink and fish

Dating can be terrifying, but getting on the computer after a couple of drinks is never a good idea. Messages written while you’re a bit tipsy will never come across as eloquent or intelligent as you think.

3. Always read over your message

Do your best to avoid grammar or spelling mistakes, and don’t use caps lock. If you don’t spell check your message or give it a quick read over, then you won’t come across as someone who is putting genuine effort into meeting someone. Invest the time and effort into creating a thoughtful, articulate message, and you can expect a great response.

And Always Remember

Having a great profile is just as important as writing a great message. Other users will look at both before deciding to respond. Make sure your profile is interesting and memorable by checking out these helpful tips on creating a great POF profile!

Meeting new people can bring new opportunities and excitement into your life! Do not hesitate to contact that person you’ve had your eye on. If you put the time and effort into constructing an extraordinary message just for them, they will undoubtedly appreciate it. The perfect message may just be the way you reel in your match!